At one time in my life, I had some real challenges with taking action, this was before i was made redundant in 2009, times when the down turn in the economy happened and i like many of you out there was feeling the heat, the pressure, the stress and the need to perform more and more tasks at shorter periods of time. Let me ask you the this question, do you see yourself in this picture? And, like you probably have, I spent a lot of time looking for different tools, methods, and systems for helping me overcome those challenges. Then one day I stumbled across an article that described a simple action-taking system called ‘timeboxing.’

Almost immediately, I knew I had found the solution that I was looking for, because not only was timeboxing easy to understand and use, but it totally eliminated the two obstacles to taking action that we just talked about.

Let me share with you how it works, and you can figure out whether you agree with me or not…

1. Write down all the things you want to get done for the day: Everything from writing, creating content, or planning your next project to answering your email and balancing your checkbook.
2. Assign a specific time to each task: Anything from 15 minutes to 4 hours.
3. Select a task, start a timer (like an egg time), and focus on nothing but accomplishing that task: This means you don’t answer the phone, you don’t get up for a drink, you don’t log onto Facebook – none of that. You remain focused on the task-at-hand!

In other words, each action you need to take during the day represents a small ‘block’ of that day (a box, if you will). You determine how big of a box it is by how much time you set aside to accomplish it (a single day can consist of anything from just a few, to a dozen boxes). When you’re ready to take action, select a box, start a timer, and get to work!

That is timeboxing!

How does timeboxing eliminate the two obstacles to taking action that we talked about a minute ago? Here’s how:

• It Creates Clarity - Creating a simple, but clear list of things you need to do (getting it out of your head) gives order and stucture to what you need to do – it gives your brain the clarity it needs in order to feel compelled to take massive action
• It Uses Time As A Strong Motivating Force - Assigning each task a specific time and using a countdown timer to work on that task within that timeframe has the same motivating effect as you would experience trying to meet any other time-based deadline – meeting the deadline is compelling, and your brain sees it as a strong reason WHY you should act!

See, I told you it was simple, and that the name fit! 

If you practice these three simple steps regularly, it will totally revolutionize the way you get things done in your life - guaranteed!

As I began using timeboxing regularly, my science and engineering brain kicked in, and I began to see how a my integrated coaching and Reiki would enhance its effectiveness and ease of-use even further.

How?

• By Eliminating The Grunt Work - Helping you Create lists of actions, assign time, prioritizing them, tracking which ones you’ve completed, and remembering which ones you need to do regularly are all things that can be handled more efficiently when obstacles occur that i can help you with
• By Giving You Visual Tools To Help You Get A Crystal-Clear Picture Of Your Day - Humans are visual creatures. The clearer we can see something, the more we feel like we can control it. When it comes to planning your day, the clearer you can visualize what you need to do, and how much time it’s going to take, the more easily you can manage it and believe that it can be done! My visual coaching hour does exactly that, help you connect through your third eye and create and maintain vision.
• By Helping You Track How And Where You’re Spending Your Time - One of the most important skills you can have when it comes to getting things done is awareness – knowing exactly how and where you’re spending your time. After all, how can you manage something (like your time) if you aren’t aware of how you’re using it? Once again, working with your Coach makes doing this a breeze!

To see how my integrated coaching can help you in this journey feel free to visitwww.thevelvetjourney.com/coaching

©Tony J Selimi

It’s December nearly the end of the 2012, let me ask you a question, what are you going to say goodbye this year to?

I know many people get busy with Christmas and preparing for the holidays but for me not only is December a time for completing projects before Christmas and the New Year,  but its also an opportunity to celebrate my birthday, slow down, take stock and take time to renew my energy and creativity.

2012 is the most important event in Earth’s history, but it is not well understood, even by those who claim prophetic visions of the future. We do know that a great planetary Shift in consciousness has been forecast by numerous sources throughout history, including tribes with long histories on the planet such as the Mayans, the Hopi, Lakota, Inuit, and the Maori. Often, the prophecies predict cataclysmic changes on Earth caused by drastic changes in weather, geomagnetic pole shifts, or massive earthquakes.

The Mayan prophecies are most quoted. According to Carlos Barrios, a student of the Mayan prophecies, the Fourth World finished on 16th August, 1987, the day of the Harmonic Convergence. At that point, the world entered a time of major transition, with the possibility of environmental destruction, social chaos, war, and on-going Earth changes. This period of instability and transition will continue until December 21, 2012, which begins the Fifth World, a new era of harmony and love.

With that in mind, it is also all about preparing myself for planning and creating 2013, take a moment right now and think about four most important questions:

1. What do you need to let go in 2012?

2. What experience do you have to achieve what you are set to do in 2013?

3. In what areas of your life do you need to grow

4. what is your contribution you want to make in 2013 to the world and the planet?

Of course, in my busy time there is time for fun too, so don’t forget that too. Currently I’m in a mad rush to finish my current projects with HealOneSelf and The Velvet Journey, spend time to think about the book I want to write and complete my tax returns. 

 One of the principles that I follow in my day to day life is to clear a space before creating something new. This works on a physical/ four-dimensional level but also on a temporal level, clearing the past so you can focus on the future. 

Many people create New Year’s resolutions and plans in January but because they haven’t dealt effectively with their past habits they have difficulty sticking to those resolutions. Taking some time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t  work during the year, will help you more powerfully plan for a great 2013.

Here is a great exercise for clearing the past and creating the right head space for planning 2013.  Spend at least 10 minutes answering these questions in a notebook or journal

• What have been your achievements up until now?
• What have been the disappointments or regrets?
• What did you not do that you had intended to do?
• What are you proud of from the year?
• What goals will you carry over into 2013 and what will you drop or rethink?
• Who can you forgive?
• What can you forgive yourself for?
• What are you grateful for?
• What was the theme of 2013 for you?
• What did you learn from the 2013?
• Is there anything you can complete before end of 2012 that would make a difference to your life?  If so complete it

If we look at 2012 in context, at the beginning of the year we thought we would be facing once economic meltdown.  Most people’s concerns were in surviving and making it through. Although this year’s London Olympics brought hope to many despite the fact many people lost their jobs, many worried about losing their jobs, there was hope in the air, newspapers were at it, TV, social media, and any other form of communication we have out there were all talking about the London Olympics.  Overall we are in a much better position than we were 12 months ago, we have come through the worse and there is more of a glimmer of hope on the horizon. So even if times have been hard, in the grand scheme of things the world is in a better position than it was 12 months ago.

That at least is something to be grateful for, make a start by adopting “Gratitude is my attitude”.

And there is just one thing to do CELEBRATE!

©Tony J Selimi, HealOneSelf, December 2012

The year is almost over, its December time of the year when we will say goodbye to 2012 in just a few weeks, and welcome another year Ready for the Gateways? It is a busy month full of Christmas parties, family get together, celebrations and also great time to reflect on the past year and plan for the next, well let me ask you a question, how much did you grow this year?

You may have felt that 2012 is not your year. Sure, you still have your job, a family, friends, but in the back of your mind, you think that there is something you’re missing. You feel that there is something that needs to develop in you.

Personal development or personal growth can mean a lot of things. It can include activities that make you more self-aware, or being able to live to your full potential and your own design.

Embarking on a journey of personal growth is not easy, and it never ends. There is always something that will distract you, and there is always something that you need to learn. You don’t need to be afraid of growing. The great thing about personal growth is that it’s focus is you. You don’t need to look at how others do it, you simply need to look inside yourself, see the things that need to change, and do something to make that change.

I am setting intention as we start this month to Raise the B. A. R. (Believe Achieve Receive) Factor in all areas of my.

If you are not sure how you can do this, here are Top 12 Tips for Personal Growth I take to Raise the B.A.R.

1       Raise Your B.A.R. Standards

If you feel like your life is in a rut, it’s time to stop being contented with where you are now. Mediocrity is not included in personal growth. Know what you want, and keep working towards that goal. If you want that promotion, then do better work than you did before. You may have to sacrifice a bit of your time, but it will be worth it in the end.

2       Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)

There may be times in your journey in life that you will fail. You don’t need to be negative about it. See the silver lining in any situation, and turn those stumbling blocks of failure into stepping stones to success, adopt PMA as your daily mantra.

3       VisualizeVisualize  IT

In order to have, do or be anything you must first be able to SEE it as a possibility – two years ago I was in Florida and was speaking in to my vision of a world as a Master Haler and Life Coach where I can make a difference, running my own companies and work with a close friends who believed in this vision. A vision where we believe and acknowledge that we ARE each other, a world where we can look deeply into each other’s eyes and hearts and EMBRACE Acceptance and Unconditional Love because we have awakened.

4 Voice IT

Once you BELIEVE you must set the vision into ACTION by pairing it with your creative power – the power of the WORD – all religions and spiritual traditions around the world agree that SOUND is a creative force – the bible begins with the phrase “In the Beginning was the WORD” VOICING what it is we want – using words and other forms of creative expression such as art, dance, song, performance, poetry, making music, writing will start to CRYSTALLIZE the Message that you are transmitting from your inner world into the outer.

5 Value IT

This is where you have to invest – money, time, energy, breath, life force, commitment, faith, trust into your belief. It is also here where I think most people get STUCK because part of VALUING what you want is ALLOWING YOURSELF to actually HAVE it! Which means that you have to ALSO VALUE YOURSELF and BELIEVE that you are able to ACHIEVE AND RECEIVE!

6 Know You

You know that quote “if you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for anything”? Keep this in mind. Know what you value, and stand up for them. Don’t give in to pressure and just trust and believe in yourself.

7 Invest in you

The worst place to be is at equilibrium. There is no such thing, when you stop growing you die. Try to learn something new, like a meditation practice, yoga, new habit (if you don’t know how to cook, this may be the time to take lessons!), or maybe a new language, or Latin dancing! It doesn’t matter what you try, just remember to have fun!

The next year can be your best year yet if you just take the time to grow. Start on your journey today and get ready for a great year to come!

In case you didn’t notice the major energy centers associated with this process are the 7 Chakras crown (mental)   third eye (vision) the throat (voice), the heart (value), solar plexus (You), sacral (creativity, feelings), and root Chakra (trust in you).

One final piece of advice and guidance – have a relationship with your ROOTS-MOTHER (the Earth) and ground yourself in to her core so that you can activate her magnetic power and align yourself to her massive and generous capacity to attract and create abundance.

What is your intention for this EPIC month?

Want to prepare yourself for a fantastic 2013? Start now by signing up for the
Maximize Your Life Coaching Package or our Oneness Body, Mind and Spirit package we offer: Breakthrough to Your Greatest Health, Wealth and Happiness, a Yearly program to assist you in shifting your life, removing those stubborn blocks that may be holding you back from the beautiful experience of Magnificent YOU.  PLUS You’ll receive some terrific bonuses worth over £400 for FREE when you pay in advance, for more information please e-mail:[email protected]

In peace and prosperity,

Tony J Selimi © HealOneSelf, December 2012

When it comes to traveling, I am lucky enough to have done my fair share. By the age of 24, I had lived in Buenos Aires, the Falklands, Salamanca, Barcelona, Bath and Manchester and spent time in South America and Africa. These trips were hugely formative and I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to do so (and especially for my parents bank account for the occasional top-up). However my recent trip to Vietnam and Cambodia, during which I cycled 500km for Parkinson’s UK, was an entirely new type of experience and adventure, which opened my eyes in many ways.

Of course, there were many highlights to the trip: the fantastic scenery, the amazing food, the cycling, the sunshine, etc. But what really made it was the people. The people we travelled with, but also the people we met along the way. 

Our group was composed of over 30 individuals ranging between 20 and 66 years old. Over the 12 day trip, I got to spend time with each and every one of them, from the cycling to the water stops via the dinners and sightseeing tours. A mini social experiment of sorts, in which I learnt a lot about myself, others and the human ability to connect.

I realized half way through our trip that I hadn’t been in similar social conditions since high school or university: a group of strangers coming together to spend every waking second in each others company. And what a group it was. A bunch of extremely positive, upbeat, happy people that were brought together with the common objective of giving their time, money and energy to help others. Each and every person had a different background, a different story, and a different reason for engaging in the adventure. Old, young, female, male, gay, straight, etc. All of us came together as a unit and formed great bonds throughout the trip.

Over the first few days, we slowly began to meet each other, and started to connect between ourselves. People started to open up, to share their experiences, backgrounds and opinions with the group. Throughout the 12 days, we discovered more and more about every single person, our personalities, behaviors and perceptions.

I quickly learnt to lose any expectation or judgement about anyone. When we meet someone, we instantly form a script, a picture and an idea of what that person is like, about their life and who they are. However every single person on the trip blew me away. People surprised me in many ways, and I learnt that each individual is special in their own unique way. As one person wrote upon his return to the UK: “Thank You to all of you for rejuvenating my belief in humankind.. You are all outstanding people.”

However the human connections we developed were not simply between ourselves. Through our cycling, we met hundreds if not thousands of people along the way. Children gathered at the sides of the roads, screaming Hello, shouting and smiling at us passing by. Their parents by their sides would smile, beaming genuine love and interest. Many people stopped to take pictures of the people, the children, and to interact with them, despite everyones limited knowledge of the others’ language. 

Simply by making eye contact, smiling and saying hello, we were able to connect with other human beings along the way. We were able to feel a bond, a connection, a similar human spirit. And we were able to send and receive genuine love without using words.

I strongly believe that everyone of us is dying to connect with others. When we walk on the street, all of us have the urge to reach out to those around us. It is natural. It is what we are designed to do. However in our society and our big city lives we have forgotten this. How many of us look at the ground, avoid the gaze of others as much as possible? When was the last time you met anyone on the tube? People are lacking that feeling of connectedness and love. A simple smile and eye contact is enough to change that. 

This trip has opened my eyes in many ways. I have understood how easy it is to connect with others once you release any expectation or pre-conceived opinions on people. I have realized how important it is to me to connect with everyone I meet, and to allow all kinds of people into my life. I have reinforced my belief that everyone is special, and has something unique and wonderful to offer the world. And above all, I have discovered the importance of a smile, the importance of making eye contact, and the importance of saying hello.

Will Pike – November 2012

Amazing positive shifts and changes are happening around the planet.

If one is lacking self-Love as a man, what does it then take to overcome these challenges in life? And how do addictions come into play as a way of coping with life for some men?

We need to look no further, Obama is the first president winning both the popular and electoral vote majorities and to sign a pro-LGBT bill. The first president to speak out in support of the freedom to marry, and the president who made open service in USA armed forces for gays and lesbians possible, LGBT Americans have won a major victory and with that a strong message was sent to the entire world.

It is a fact and scientifically proven that empowered individuals that are in touch with their deepest self, their inner feelings and their true love operate at much higher vibrational levels. Individuals who are at this level have the capability to shift from “Love of Power” to “Power of Love”. Obama, the USA re-elected a president is one of the kind of individuals I am talking about. The first president that endorsed gay marriage, a man who knows we are all love, we are all one, a man who used the Power of Love to make all of it to happen.

This is a giant leap for humanity, a strong message that we are all Love was sent to the entire world. It is a stepping stone towards creating a world that is free from limited beliefs, free from judgement, and is accepting for all mankind.

We are love by default, we just need to remember it, and how do we do this, well I have been on this journey from the moment I was born and the more I feel present right not the more I Love.

For me living a wonderful life is about staying open through the changes and the difficult times. It is about keeping going and consistently sticking to my goals knowing that I am growing as I do so.

Beliefs about Love can hinder our own well being as well to those around us. The above would have not been possible if Obama did not belief in equality, in love for all mankind, etc.  It is essential to understand ourselves at deeper level, explore the deep hurts that we are unable to let go, release and learn to accept those who hurt you and those you hurt.

When we connect with our hearts and we expand our sense of freedom, trust and joy. We start to radiate our understanding and knowing of Love, we are opening the way to becoming what we already are: Love

Coming from a much closed minded community, for many years i lived in fear, I lacked the courage, and the self-belief needed to love myself resulting in a single life that had its upsides but was ultimately very lonely for long periods of time. This went on for many years until at a defining moment, when I found the strength to take life back in my own hands. I did something about it when the status quo became just too painful. I engaged in a wide variety of self-development programs and courses to develop my skills, confidence and healing my own life, I took the plunge and this is what I did:

• I find out the BIG WHAT that was holding me back from being me
• Become comfortable and confident in who I am as a man
• Took small daily actions to unleash my potential
• Became clear about my limited beliefs and took actions to find new ones
• Learn the most effective tools to self-love, acceptance and opening my heart

Now I thrive in all areas of my life as i guide men into becoming confident men too.

Through my personal journey of letting go of the deep hurts I found Love for myself, I started to speak my truth about Love and able to see the Love in others and receive it too. The question i have for you is, how much has deep hurt cost you so far?

I entered a journey of experience being love in profound new ways, I went through a four-step process acceptance, identify, mobilize, and release the painful memories and life-damaging beliefs that are at the root of many emotional and physical health problems. The fourth steps helped me opening my heart to true love flowing into me.

If you too relate to the above, are experiencing lacks of self-love and are at stage of your life where you want to take life back into your own hands, than the new and very unique Love2Loveworkshop held on the 1st of December is the one to help you unleash the authentic man within. Only number of tickets available, Book yours now, click HERE!

Four more years. This powerful sentence, a record breaking tweet sent by Barack Obama and re-tweeted nearly a million times, has headlined newspapers around the world. These three words have become a symbol for hope, change, and freedom.

As the results of the 2012 US Presidential election were announced, you could practically hear the sigh of relief emanating from social networks and newspapers around the world. Relief that the voters had chosen to put their trust once again in Barack Obama, giving the Democrats the keys to the White House for another term.

For some, Obama was the lesser of two evils. But for me and for many people I know, he symbolises much more. He symbolises progress, the march of freedom, of equal rights, of social equality and democracy. He symbolises the inclusion of all minorities; as he said himself “It doesn’t matter whether you’re black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, abled, disabled, gay or straight. You can make it (here) in America if you’re willing to try.”

This election was a first for many things. It was the first time a black President was re-elected to the White House. It was the first time an open supporter of gay rights was voted in. It was the first time that any President mentioned the word “gay” in a presidential victory speech. And for the first time on the same night, three states voted in favour of gay marriage and a fourth state made steps towards gay equality by rejecting an appeal to ban  it.

This series of first symbolises a new beginning and an important victory for gay rights campaigners across the States and as a repercussion: across the globe. Mankind has made a step into the future, a future in which everyone has the right to love and to marry the one they love, regardless of gender or sexuality. A small victory in global terms, but an important one nonetheless.

This election really has raised hope for many people, and confirmed that although divided, the US favours the path of democracy, freedom and equality. Of course, there is a lot of work to be done. Obama must overcome the political gridlock that is occurring and is putting a break on his promised plans. The next two years will be crucial for making the most of his time in the office, and staying true to the expectations he has set.

Many cynics will try and put a damper on the elections and their message. But many will refuse to focus on the negative, the fears, the doubts. Instead, they will find inspiration and hope in the results of the elections. And excitement, that indeed “the best is yet to come.”

Will Pike – November 2012

On my recent visit to Macedonia for my mother’s 78thbirthday I found myself in a situation that was extremely challenging both emotionally and mentally. For the sake of the love, respect and not wanting to disappoint my family and people I love and care about I ended up setting myself into an autopilot mode by doing things that were expected of me and letting myself go with the flow.  I could not help but notice the changes in people’s behaviour around me as well as the anger that was being build inside of me. Whilst there were positive feeling being generated in the actions I was doing that were making other people happy, bit by bit I started to neglect my own wants and needs, as the time went on this started to build into more frustration and anger.

Doing things for others for sure is rewarding, ignoring our own needs, not listening to our own inner voice and not allowing ourselves to be who we actually are is NOT. Living in a straight men’s world where everyone is expecting you to be a well behaved, a respected son and a family guy if not managed properly can led to so much anger being stored inside of you.

How many of you have been told that anger is inappropriate?  It’s not good to be angry.  And so we’ve learned to ignore our feelings of anger, push them down, suppress them, and pretend they don’t exist.  In the long run, I realised that’s not any healthier for you than expressing your anger inappropriately. I now completely understand.  Having left my culture I made a decision a long time ago to stop being angry at my family, at the macho guys at school who bullied me for spending my time with girls and not playing football with them, at all of the people who started the war in former Yugoslavia that led me to loose friends, family and being forced to flee the country I grew up and new to be my own (at that time), at employers and friends who simply did not appreciate the hard work I put over the years. It was serving no one.

What I did not realize is that although I stopped expressing anger, I was also not honestly acknowledging how I felt, and so I was actually just storing the anger in my body.

One of the things I have learned through experience, working with healers, spiritual teachers, with many of my friends and helping clients move through relationship issues is that stored anger shows up in our life in many ways.  Often people who struggle with addiction, especially alcoholism have repressed anger.  Chronic pain has also proven to reveal hidden and stored anger.

Repressed anger is often disguised and sometimes it takes working through other emotions to arrive at the anger.

I’ve also discovered in both my personal and professional path that rather than acknowledging and expressing the anger we feel at other people, experiences, and life in general, we turn those heavy emotions inward and begin to blame ourselves, judge our feelings, and begin to want to justify or make sense of the feelings that dare to rise up and call our attentions. So we learn, to hide them, mask them, make excuses for them, and turn more judgement and pain inward at our own shortcomings and failings. I was the first to tell you, “ I’m not angry.” I would just as quickly jump in and justify why I should NOT feel angry, and make sense of the situation and talk myself right out of feeling what was real for me.  I had every right to be mad, and yet at some level, I did not believe that I did.  By the way, this did not stop the feelings from showing up.  I just got really good at “making sense” of it all – and totally dis empowering my real feelings and myself in the process.

Thank goodness, the work I have done over the years is helping me each time I go back to my roots, family and culture.  I have learned how to safely and quickly address what’s really causing the show of feelings, giving a voice to them, and letting go of the judgement and blame we tend to hold.

Addressing and releasing not only anger but other emotions and feelings that may be masking the real feelings of anger that you are holding is your first step.

It is your chance to move through the heavy, energetic emotions that are interfering with your happiness, and your living the life that you really want to be experiencing.

What I have found is that through combination of Chakra Healing, Life Coaching and tapping i work with clients on releasing the energy, the thoughts, the meta programming that causes this anger, it allows for more joy to come in.  You move the old, stuck, stagnant energy out of your system and make room for more of the new positive thoughts and energy to fill you.

If you are feeling stuck, lost or hopeless,

If you are at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn,

If you are generally unhappy and just don’t know why,

If you know you want to make a change, and just cannot shift,

If you are chronically having accidents or experiencing pain and discomfort,

There’s a strong possibility that there is some stored, stuck, unexpressed anger (or other emotion) in your body, in your subconscious, in your energy body.  So get in touch as I would love for you to be anger free, you will be free to move forward to create the life and relationships you desire and to be all that you imagine.

To your love and joy,

Tony J Selimi ©HealOneSelf

The universe works in wonderful ways. Last Sunday, I had the chance to spend an inspiring afternoon with my new friend Marc. Over a plate of runny eggs and too many coffees, our discussion floated to a deep open chat about our paths, our struggles and our insecurities. We realised how we had both felt out of place in our childhood, had both struggled with our identities and had both felt a disconnect with the world around us. And then, by luck, we selected a movie that beautifully and wonderfully represented all of what we had touched upon: The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

This funny, inspired, and heartfelt movie blew us both away. It follows the freshman year of Charlie, a troubled and quiet teenager who has had little interaction with people his age. He meets siblings Patrick and Sam, and as the plot unfolds, opens up and overcomes many of his struggles. The film touched us in many ways and struck a deep chord within both of us, for a few reasons;

It showed how we can feel like spectators of our own lives. Charlie, the main character, has had little interaction with other people. He is quiet, lost in his thoughts, trying to understand himself and his place in the world, by observing and analysing everything going on around him. For many people, that feeling can be a reality: insecurity, bad experiences or trauma fill them with fear or doubt: they don’t feel good enough to speak their opinions, to connect to others or to stand up for themselves. They feel unable to take action, to speak their thoughts and to take control of their lives. They observe the world around them to understand it better, rather than participating in it and living. They are, as the movie title hints, as a wallflower: they look out to the world from their fixed perspective, feeling disconnected and separate.

It showed how we can focus on others too much, forgetting to take care of our own selves. Charlie wants to make everyone around him happy, however he is unable to help himself. As children, we learn to validate our behaviours through the people around us: our parents, teachers, families. We learn to associate ourselves with external events and factors to make our decisions and formulate our opinions. But although many learn to disassociate themselves as thew grow older, some are still unable to trust their own judgements and their own instincts. Instead, they live their lives based on what they assume others may think and on how they may be perceived. They show love to people around them, however do not take care of themselves, do not follow their inner voice, do not follow their deepest desires. They spend their time and energy caring for others, for their families, friends or colleagues. They fail to take care of themselves, of their minds, their bodies and their spirits. They don’t understand what makes them tick, what makes them feel good, and what drives them.

It showed how we don’t always feel deserving of love. “We accept the love that we think we deserve”. One of the most memorable quotes from the movie, this simple sentence perfectly explains why many date the wrong people. They don’t feel worthy of love, don’t believe that love exists for them, don’t imagine being good enough. So they settle. They settle in the wrong relationships, with the wrong friends, in the wrong careers. At some point in our lives, we all feel unworthy and undeserving, and we let it affect us in many ways, at a conscious level but also at a subconscious one, letting people and events take advantage of us.

 It showed how we all have unique talents and gifts. Charlie discovers a great love for music, for reading and for writing. He is encouraged by his English teacher to follow his love for words and to write his own short stories and eventually, novels. We all have our own amazing talents, however many of us do not develop them. Instead we participate in activities, jobs and careers that help us to fit in, when in fact, we were born to stand out. How many people do you know that are actually following their dreams, that take time to do things they truly love doing, and use their gifts to help people around them?

It showed how we can glimpse at times at how amazing we are. Even the most unaware person can glimpse at times at how we are not the sad story that we tell ourselves. We all get moments like these in our lives: moments when we feel on top of the world, we feel amazing, we feel fulfilled. Many people find this fulfilment through external factors: relationships, food, alcohol, exercise, etc. In these cases, the feeling will be short lived. True long-term fulfilment comes from following your heart, being yourself, and making steps to create the life you want, in every single aspect of it.

THE PERKS OF BEING YOU
The feelings and emotions portrayed in the movie hit a deep chord in me. It felt very close to home, and am sure will do for a number of gay men. It reminded me of we can feel separate from those around us, our lives and the people we love. During our childhood and teenage years we observe from a distance and learn to fit in by adapting our personality and appearance. We keep a safe distance between ourselves and the rest of the world.

Some of us learn to validate ourselves by external signs of happiness: expensive clothes, a perfect body, financial success, lavish parties. We look at others to love us, to fill our own lack of self-love. We don’t always feel deserving: we subconsciously bring ourselves down for being who we are. Many gay men I know, including myself in the past, fall into the wrong relationships with the wrong people. We settle for a small portion of what we really want, because we don’t believe that we can or in fact are worthy of anything better.

However, we all have many magnificent gifts and talents. Us gay men have paved the way in many industries, many fields, many arts. We have developed a unique sense of self-deprecating humour and have shown the world an openness of mind that has helped shape our society. Each individual, gay or straight, male or female, has something to offer the world. It is up to you to take full advantage of it, to create your own unique niche, to be yourself. Once you let go of the need for external approval, of your fears and that you truly follow your heart, you will discover just how amazing you are.

WE ARE INFINITE
We left the cinema remembering what life was all about: about following your dreams, connecting to yourself and to others, and finding your fulfilment. We both realised how grateful we were to some of our close friends for showing us the way to find love within ourselves, and helping us see the love around us. In my case, my fantastic friend, Founder of The Velvet Journey, Tony, who helped kick start in me a will to create the life of my dreams: fulfilled, balanced, healthy and happy.

We are infinite. That is the one final message of the movie that encapsulates just how amazing each and every one of us are. We are all capable of great things, once we learn from our pasts and commit to a better future. As was said in the movie: “We can’t do anything about where we’ve come from. But we can do something about where we go from here.”

Will Pike – October 2012

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Tony and myself are running our “Be Yourself, Change Your World” 1-day workshop on Saturday the 3rd of November. We will cover many of the topics mentioned above: self-love, acceptance, confidence and direction, to help you create a life of your own design. For more information and to book your ticket, click here.

If you’ve worked with me either on healing, coaching or attended one of my workshops, you know that I am a big proponent of managing negative self-talk.

So far working with hundreds of clients tackling self-love, depression, anxiety, sexuality, sexual frustrations and dissatisfaction, bad relationship with food, feelings, anger, insomnia, back pain, high blood pressure, addictions, money issues, job, relationship, panic attacks, migraines, the list goes on… one of the main root cause of these issues is the negative self-belief that is deeply rooted in their conscious and subconscious mind.

Did you know that on daily basis we think on average 70,000 thoughts, we each “speak” to ourselves, providing feedback on how we’re doing.  The NEGATIVE feedback tends to dominate ones day to day living. As a result, one ends up feeling worse, ones self-esteem diminishes – and one ends up in a rut.

Over the years I have helped many clients shift their thoughts, helped create personal affirmations and taught them simple to use tools to help them manage and change their “Self-Talk,” in doing so they can both elevate their level of self-esteem and empower their lives to attract rich relationships, abundance, fulfilment, happiness and all of the other things we all want in our lives.

My years of experience in the Information Technology (IT) I saw over and over again virus infected systems and networks and until the network was cleaned up and virus protected nothing was working, the business would loose £££ and would have a negative impact on the customers  too.

Just the way we can reprogram or upgrade a PC, we can to REPROGRAM our minds to enjoy greater happiness, wealth, confidence, love, success, health – and more.

ALL just by changing what we say to ourselves.

Be Yourself, Change Your World Workshop on the 3rd of November shows you the precise steps you need to follow to change your own Self-Talk.

It’s an amazing workshop, and I highly encourage you to check it out:

http://bit.ly/VwxuUl

After all, isn’t it time you successfully managed Your Life and took the first steps.

Love, Joy, Peace

Tony J Selimi

© Transformational Life Coach, Reiki Master and Energy Healer

The answer to that question will reveal in you ever, achieve the success, the life, the peace you’re, looking for or not.

The funny thing is though, you can’t answer it with words.Nope.  Words don’t cut it. That’s not how this question gets answered.  This question ONLY gets answered by the sheer DEFEAT and FEAR you suffer, and observing what happens immediately after that.

Sure, you may fall down a while. You may need to lick your wounds. You may need to take a breather. But will it STOP YOU?

Will that defeat and fear stop you?  Will that challenge stop you?  Will that problem stop you? Will that obstacle stop you? 

This is the single most important answer you’ll ever discover to creating the success you’re looking for in life.

There’s not one more profitable skill you can develop then that of overcoming FEAR and becoming UNSTOPPABLE!

And I do literally mean becoming UNSTOPPABLE.  As in… nothing will ever stop you. As in, you will need to DIE before you stop. As in… you make the TERMINATOR look like a wussy. 

That’s the kind of Unstoppable I’m talking about, letting go the Fear that holds you back and help you reach that place within yourself…

… I’m not kidding you.  You’ll crush anything you do.  You will shock yourself with the results you produce.

You will OVER ACHIEVE your personal goals… and then immediately set ones 10x bigger.

You will make money effortlessly, and the goal will then never be about making money again (because it’s so easy), and now the goals will be about IMPACT you actually create in the world.

All of this… comes as a result of letting go FEAR and being Unstoppable.

And our “Fear2Freedom” workshop that will help you become Unstoppable is happening October 13th. 
If you want to let go your Fear and become an UNSTOPPABLE , then don’t be stopped in attending this transformational workshop.

Click to Choose Freedom!

Make the first choice towards creating a life more powerful than you’ve ever lived before… and it will really begin once you’re here.

©Tony J Selimi

Transformational Life Coach, Reiki Master and Chakra Healer