SPOILER ALERT: The below is a shameless plug written out of love and respect - and is long overdue. 

If you had met me just a few years ago, you would have observed a very different person: a quiet, shy, reserved and nervous individual, unsure about himself, his opinions, his wants or his desires. Full of self-doubt, insecurities and fears, he struggled to be authentic around other people. He was unable to deeply connect to his friends, unable to express his love for the people in his life, and unable above all to love himself. Lost and confused, he had spent years jumping from city to city, from club to club, and from job to job in the search of some release, some hope and some fulfillment.



Nowadays, I am settled, grounded, happy and fulfilled. I Love (with a capital L) my work and my businesses, I have great friends to whom I am deeply connected  to and who support me in all my endeavors, and I have a fantastic loving relationship with my family. I am able to be my authentic self in all situations, and to express my true desires, wants and opinions. 

One person has had a huge impact on my transformation: my great friend, business partner and coach Tony Selimi. Here is our story:

HOW I MET TONY

When I met Tony, I had already began my journey. After a depressing few years, some little voice inside of me had guided me to finally settle down, and to start a work I could enjoy. I met Tony on the gym floor in 2010: he offered me a free healing in return for a PT session. Intrigued, I went along, with little expectations. 

Looking back on that first session, I remember how uncomfortable I felt. I felt prodded, nudged and gently wrestled into opening up and talking about myself, my feelings and my emotions. As a British passive aggressive introvert, it was my idea of hell. My ego kicked in with a vengeance: "Who was this man asking so many questions?" "Who did he think he was?" " How dare he make me feel so uncomfortable!" Part of me doubted and distrusted, another part of me was intrigued. But I knew deep down that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Tony was patient, and gave me the space to slowly feel more and more comfortable. Although part of me was screaming to run away back to my comfort zone, at the end of our session I chose to accompany him to dinner. As we chatted about spirituality, our lives, our dreams and our desires, something in me clicked and I knew that my life was about to take a turn for the better. 

After agreeing to provide Tony with some Personal Training in return for more coaching and healing, I left feeling elated, as if something in me had shifted, some hope had returned. There was light at the end of the tunnel.


MY INITIAL RESISTANCE

I would be lying to you if I said that I had jumped head first into my new path. Even though I could catch a glimpse of where I was headed, a big part of me resisted the process. The concepts of energy, of manifestation, of law of attraction etc were all new to me. Years and years of belief in the physical world as the only reality held me back, and it would take me many months before I could fully release my doubts and trust what Tony was talking about.

At the same time, I still held on tightly to my old destructive habits, my old thought patterns, my old conditioning. For over a year, I went through many ups and downs: one day feeling elated and on top of the world, the other back to the grey gloom and doom. I caught a glimpse of the happiness and self-love Tony talked about, and then found myself doubting I had ever experienced it.

In hindsight, these cycles matched the times when I listened and nurtured my inner voice, my truth, and the times when I blocked it out, doubted myself, and forgot my heart. Time after time I returned to see Tony, and at every single session, I opened up a tiny bit more, learnt a bit more about myself, and felt a bit more hopeful.


STEP BY STEP

Little by little, with Tony’s constant, loving yet patient support and understanding I started to see clearer and clearer. I discovered a new awareness of myself, my thoughts and my emotions. I began to understand my past behaviors, my day-to-day feelings and my future desires. And I embarked on a journey of tremendous change that has not stopped since. 

The fog slowly started to lift and I saw my life with a whole new perspective. I was able to see how for years I had avoided looking deeper into myself, always scared of what was inside. I was able to see how I had blamed my lack of love on everyone else but myself: my family, my friends, my clients. And I was able to see how much better my life was when I trusted and followed my intuition.  

It wasn't always plain sailing, I made many mistakes and put myself into many difficult situations. However Tony always empowered me to turn the situations around, to gain learnings and insights from them, to forgive myself and to move on quickly.

In doing so, I started to trust my instincts, and built a new-found respect and esteem for myself, my desires and my choices. I re-discovered love for life, for those around me and for me - for Will. My resistance dropped, and I became eager to learn more and more about the healing and coaching process, about our minds, our energies, our emotions - and how they all interact.

And as my inner world changed, so did my outer world. I stopped my old destructive habits, and began to nurture the parts of my life that needed me. My business began to take off, I attracted new wonderful friends, and re-connected with my twin, my brothers and my parents. My life slowly began to fall into place.


TONY'S COACHING

The job of a good Coach is to allow you to come to your own conclusions, make your own decisions, and choose what is right for yourself. And that is exactly what Tony did. His greatest skill has been to help me believe and trust my instincts to achieve my potential. We are all born great, with unique gifts, talents and personalities - however many of us suppress our true selves and forget our dreams and desires. Drawing on his learnings from many avenues including his own life story, Tony empowered me to push my boundaries, transform my mind and release my inner self. 

Tony has a positive energy and a love for life and for others that is contagious. He is a loving, warm and kind man, and keen to help everyone he meets. He has inspired me in many ways to do the same: to inject love into everything I do, everything I see and everyone I meet. He has become one of my closest friends, a trusted companion and a fantastic business partner. 

However, if I were to name one of Tony’s top strengths, it would be his integrated and in-depth knowledge of both Coaching AND Healing. Through my own experience, I have realized how important they both are, in conjunction with one another. Any healing of the physical body is far more powerful when one can understand the root of the symptom in their subconscious, and make changes to their mindset through coaching. And coaching is far more powerful with the understanding of energy, vibrations and manifestation. 

Tony has been an avid learner for many years, and has done all kind of certifications (each with different initials and abbreviations !). Rather than sticking to one particular school of thought, he happily uses the best bits of each one, and tailors his approach depending on the situation. This integration of the mind and spirit has really opened up my eyes to the world around us, and has helped me transform the way I see my business, my training and my relationships. 

Of course, it goes without saying that I would wholeheartedly recommend Tony to anyone. I truly believe that everyone could benefit from a bit of coaching and healing, and that the world would be a better place if we all applied just 10% of what Tony can teach. 


START YOUR OWN JOURNEY

For me, Tony has been a fantastic catalyst for change, a great influence in my life, and an astounding friend. Thanks to him I have learnt to love, be loved, to express myself, and to reach for the stars. I have kickstarted an incredible transformation and have found my true self. I feel authentic, fulfilled and content - and so very excited about what the future will bring.

Looking into yourself and committing to your own personal growth is best thing you could ever do. Yes it will require some work. Yes it may be uncomfortable at times. And yes you may have many layers and issues to unravel. But the long-term reward you will get is immense, immeasurable, and most likely impossible to even imagine.

Happiness and fulfillment is inside of you. It may have been locked up by fears, doubts and insecurities - but it is within your grasp. I dare you to go find it. 

Will Pike - 30 January 2013

I recently was asked to support the London branch of Morgan McKinley for their Wellbeing week, and spent the day at their office assessing their staff and talking to them about the Sitting Syndrome. It was quite astonishing the little people knew about how their everyday posture and activities were affecting their bodies.

Our bodies are one amazing piece of machinery, full of pistons, levers, engines, structures and mechanisms that are designed to work in unison to do one thing: move. However, in the past half a century, with the rise of the service industry, our society has become increasingly sedentary, and people now spend 8 to 12 hours a day in a sitting position: at work, on public transport, and at home.

And this has a huge effect on our bodies. Below are a list of the most common symptoms, and some quick ways to assess yourself.

1. HUNCHED UPPER BODY
It is very common for desk workers to sit in a hunched position in front of the computer. It takes only 15mins for a muscle to start to shorten. So you can just imagine how tight your muscles get over the years! Most people that I assess have tightness in the upper chest and shoulders, in the biceps and forearms, and in the neck muscles. These cause people’s shoulders to hunch forward and their upper spine to round, leaving the muscles in the upper back overstretched and weak. This rounded posture has a name: the “Upper Cross Syndrome”.

Tightness around the neck, back and shoulders can lead to Repetitive Strain Injuries in the wrists and arms, or even shoulder or neck pains. To quickly assess your own posture: stand against a wall, with your feet together, and heels, buttocks, upper back and head touching the wall. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Ask a colleague to look at your alignment: the top of your shoulders should be in line with your earlobes and your shoulders should be at the same height.

2. WEAK CORE/TIGHT LOWER BACK
In a sitting position, our bodies are supported in a relaxed position; therefore the core muscles that are designed to support it become underactive and weak. Many people associate the 6-pack muscles with Core, however they are only a superficial muscle. Our bodies contain 4 layers of abdominal muscles, the most important of which is the deep Tranversus Abdominus (TA), a sheet of muscle going around the spine and organs, acting as a protective corset to support them during movement. However, through years of inactivity, many people have a weak TA muscle, poor core coordination, and an overactive and tight lower back.

To learn to engage your TA muscle: lie on your back with your knees bent at 90 degrees and feet on the floor. Inhale and push your belly button out, then exhale and draw your belly button in as far as you can, while keeping your lower back flat on the floor. Hold the bottom position for 10s, and then relax. Repeat the exercise 10 times each time. You may need to hold your breath at first, but with practice you will be able to breathe and add movement to the exercise. You will also be able to engage the TA muscles while exercising, walking or sitting at your desk.

3. WEAK GLUTES
Being sat down on our butts all day does have dire consequences for said butts. Indeed our bum muscles (glutes) are held in an overstretched position. Over time, this leads to weakness in the muscle, a lack of control, and in some case complete lack of activity.

Now, the glutes are very important: they are the biggest and strongest muscle in our bodies, and are designed to power our movements, protect our lower back, and to stabilize our trunk and leg muscles. They also assist the muscles of the upper thigh to absorb any impact on the knees. Poor glute strength can therefore be a huge cause of weakness and lack of stability in the knees.

To find out if your glutes are working correctly: lie on your back, with your knees bent at 90 degrees, your feet flat on the floor and your knees in line with your hips. Then lift your hips off the floor 15 times. Allow your body to use whichever muscles it wants. After a few reps check which muscles are working. If your glutes are firing correctly, you should feel them activating automatically. However for many people, the lower back or hamstrings will do all or most of the lifting. And even if your glutes are working, they probably still need strengthening. We all do.

4. TIGHT HIPS
In a sitting position, the muscles in the front of your thighs, ie. Quadriceps, Hip flexors, and IT bands (running down the side of your thighs from hip to knee) get very tight. Most people’s hips are in fact screamingly tight, from lack of activity, and from being placed day after day in an unnatural and cramped position.

To assess your hip flexibility: lie on your back with both legs straight. Pick up your right knee and pull it with both hands into your chest. If your extended leg pops up as your bent knee approaches your chest, you have tight hip flexors.

5. EXCESSIVE LOWER BACK CURVE
Through a combination of the above points many people develop what is called the “Lower Cross Syndrome”. Indeed, tight muscles in the lower back start pulling the back of the pelvis up, while tight hips pull the front of the pelvis down, leading to an anterior pelvic tilt and an excessive lower back curve.

An easy way to assess the curve in your lower back is to return to the postural assessment against the wall described in point 1., then to check how much space there is between your lower back and the wall. There should be just enough space to place your hand. If the space is wider, you have an excessive curve in the lower spine, most likely due to a combination of tight and weak muscles around the area.

To correct this, stretch your hips and lower back as often as you can, and strengthen your core and glute muscles. You can also do the following exercise daily: lie on your back, with your knees bent at 90 degrees, your feet flat on the floor and your knees in line with your hips. Tilt your pelvis forwards so that your lower back is pressed into the floor. Teach your body to hold that position for 2mins. Once you can do that easily, add some knee raises by bringing your knees (still bent at 90 degrees) into your chest, separately at first and then both knees at once when you are strong enough. Your main focus should remain your lower back: if you are unable to do the exercise without curving the lower back, regress to an easier version.

Regardless of how much you train, you must be aware of the effects of too much sitting. And regardless of your training goal, part of exercising should be to correct any tightness or weaknesses mentioned in the above paragraphs. Developing an awareness of the way you sit (and how much) are the first steps towards avoiding any injury or strain. Understanding that we are designed to move will lead to a healthy and active lifestyle. So get moving!

Will Pike – September 2012

As a Personal Trainer, the one thing I am asked the most is how someone can guarantee themselves results at the gym. Now of course these so-called “results” are very subjective. There are an infinity of goals to choose from: from the common “decrease my body fat” or “increase my muscle mass” to the more specific “improve my 5km run time”. And while I do not believe that exercise and training should purely be result-driven but rather a natural and enjoyable part of our lives, I am a great promoter of self-improvement. And by definition, of setting yourself a goal and working to achieve it.

1. Be clear about what you want

The number one step to achieving any goal is in fact to be clear about the goal itself. Indeed, how will you know what to work towards, or even when you have achieved it, if you have no idea of what you are seeking? Being able to explain and describe your goal is essential. And being as specific as you can will greatly increase your confidence in the outcome. Even better, visualise it: fast-forward to the near future, and see how you will feel, what situations you will be in, what experiences and thoughts you will have. How will you look, what clothes will you wear, how will your body feel? You can even ask your future self what steps you made to get there. Return to the same visualisation when you have doubts or lose your drive, and see what effect this has on your motivation and self-belief.

2. Learn how you achieve success

We all have a different approach to getting results. Understand how you achieve your success at work and in your career, then translate that to your training routine. You are at your best when you plan carefully and stick to a well-defined programme? Do the same with your exercise and eating: plan ahead, book your sessions and build your weekly menus in advance. You are successful by learning from others first? Get a Personal Trainer or train with an experienced gym-goer until you are able to develop your own workouts and eating plans. We all have different approaches, methods and ways of managing ourselves and our lives: find what works best for you.

3. Focus on small changes

When it comes to making changes to your lifestyle, less is more. For many people, trying to build too many new habits in one go will result in a sense of being overwhelmed, and eventually lead to failure. Instead, focussing on 1 or 2 changes at a time will seem more achievable. If a change looks too big, break it down into smaller steps. Want to be training five times a week? Start with two or three times for the first few weeks before gradually increasing. Want to be able to run 5km without stopping? Start by allowing yourself to walk when needed before gradually increasing the length of your runs.

4. Be flexible

Of course, no plan is fail-proof: life often gets in the way. Your relationship, job, friends or family will all at some point be a priority over your fitness regime. So you must learn to be flexible, and to allow for changes in your diary. If you need to cancel a training session, re-schedule it straight away, ideally for the next day or at the very least within the same week. Include weekends in your training days to give yourself more flexibility during your workweek. Learn some bodyweight exercises and a quick routine that you can fit in on days you cannot get to a gym. Even a 15min run is better than nothing: absolutely everything counts towards your goal.

5. Stay committed

The key to achieving any goal and overcoming any obstacle is commitment. Make your fitness goals one of your top priorities for a while, and take the conscious decision to make the right choices everyday. You are the only person that is able to make the changes: take full responsibility for your actions, commit to your goal and maintain a high level of discipline. Remind yourself of the reasons behind your goal, and keep at it.

6. Reinforce positive action

Finally, in order to stay on the right track, it is important not to let the times you sway off-course cloud your judgement. It is very easy to get hung-up on the bowl of chips we had for dinner, the big night out we had by “mistake” or the morning jog we skipped for a lie-in. However, avoid any sense of regret or judgement, which can easily lead to the undoing of all the good decisions you made so far. Instead, congratulate yourself for taking positive action: give yourself a mental pat on the back every time you make a step in the right direction. Surround yourself with people that will do the same, that will support you and provide positive feedback, and will add to your commitment and determination to achieving your fitness goals. 

Will Pike – 28th August 2012

London 2012 is upon us. After years of preparation, hype and excitement, thousands of athletes have arrived in our hometown for the Greatest Show on Earth. And what a show it is. The opening ceremony was an uplifting, dizzying, electrifying presentation of British culture at its best. After the clinical and soulless (yet awe-inspiring) Beijing ceremony, Danny Boyle gave us a show full of creativity, humor and inspiration. It wasn’t perfect, no. But what it lacked in execution it made up for tenfold in energy. It was a labor of love, and it showed.

Of course, like any big event there is huge money involved, mistakes are made, and politics can be a bit shady. But when the competition is stripped down to the athletes, the nail-biting moments, and the raw emotions, we are able to see an impressive display of the best human qualities. If there is one thing that these modern Olympics are shaping up to be, it is just that: a show of love, of inspiration, of commitment, of dedication, of friendship and team spirit.

At the same time, the Olympics are a celebration of movement and of the human body at its best. They are an ode to exercise, to sport and to training. A whole generation is watching as men and women encourage their bodies to reach its maximum, to be faster, stronger, and more agile than ever before. Seconds are shaved off World Records as Olympians demonstrate the power, strength and sheer awesomeness of the human body and mind working in full harmony.

In turn, we can hope that this will have a positive impact on those watching.  Indeed, our society is increasingly sedentary: we sit at work, on the tube, and at home. Most people have developed a negative perception of movement and exercise; they associate it with pain, discomfort and hard work. When I ask my clients why they have adverse feelings towards exercise, most of them trace it back to humiliating PE classes at school. Sound familiar? So when a show like the Olympics comes to town, will it encourage people, young and old alike, to try something new, to move their bodies, and to develop better feelings towards exercise? Will it remind us all that, regardless of nationality, sexuality, gender or political discourse, we all have exactly the same bodies? I sure hope so. What do you think?

Will Pike

1st August 2012