Imagine what your life would be like if you learnt how to truly unleash your potential? 

Inside of ourselves there is everything we want: strength, conviction, love, depth, solidarity, decision, focus, confidence, and sheer determination in the loud, ringing tone which punctuates their delivery.

So what makes us access our own greatness? 

You may think now, if it was so easy everyone would do it. .... But, really why don't they?

It took me years to accept and acknowledge me and that each person is unique, unique in their set of values, experiences, thoughts they generate, beliefs they have, and the filters that sort out the billions of bits of information that we receive through our five senses each and every day.

Having worked with thousands of clients to help them in their journey to unlock their true potential in 8 key areas of life: emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, love, relationship, business and financial, I found that the words " When the time is right", "Its hard", "I WILL" , "I Won't" and " I Can't" were what stopped them from living in the present and unlocking their true potential.

I spend years in living in the past or in the future, I  learned the art of living in the present and now help others in their journey to minimise their time thinking about the past or future and focus them in the present moment.

Journey within is about helping you to transform your psyche, your emptions, your  spirit and embrace the art of transparent communication. 

What do I mean Journey Within? Let me start with one of my favourite quotes from Dalai Lama: " The transformational transparent conversations we record offer you the opportunity to listen to powerful dialogues full of life wisdom and insights from all my guests which support and empower you to embrace change and move through your fears to experience new perspectives, new ways of seeing and engaging with the world."

In 2008 I went through massive changes in my life, personal as well as professional life. Having been made redundant i spent some time to think, evaluate my life and the direction i wanted to take. I noticed within myself that I was predominately functioning from a foundation of lies and fear. I realised that I was lying to me, my family about the man i was, i was living in fear about being truthful about who i was. I was living two worlds, in one i was the "straight loving son" and in the other " i was the gay man living and enjoying life to the fullest", because of my fear i created two separate personalities each requiring a lot of energy to manage. 

A journey within is about connecting to the full essence of what it means to be a human being. It’s about taking responsibility to look within yourself and inquire into the deepest questions you have about your unique indescribable gift of life. It’s about truth and no longer upholding lies within and without. 

When we observe within we often notice we are functioning from unconscious actions and using old operating systems in the way we view the world. It’s not easy reprogramming conditioned habits and addictions. It’s not easy taking responsibility for our actions. 

I love nothing more than transparently sharing the insights I have picked up through direct experience to support others to thrive and blossom while I know this serves the evolution of humanity. 

Do you wake in the morning knowing there are obstacles ahead of you that are stopping you from truly living a happy, joyful and successful life? 

No wonder, in today busy and extremely demanding world we are so busy with dealing with what life through's at us on daily basis that we tend to forget what truly matters to us. 

Let me ask you a question, when was last time reviewing your life and asking yourself who are you, what do you want from life and what's in your way? Take a moment as you read this and write down the answers to these 3 most important questions that if you want to overcome any obstacles that hold you back that you should know the answers for. I coach many clients on getting their life back on track, to overcome their limiting beliefs, and create the breakthroughs quickly and easily so that they can overcome the obstacles they might be facing. Today, i would like to share 12 obstacles that many of my clients face that holds them back from living the life of their dreams

One of the main questions that i hear over and over again during my coaching sessions or from friends, family or when i am out and about is how to make more money and be more successful. 

It really is is simple, in this article i will share with you my secrets on how i created the success, freedom and lifestyle i now enjoy. Just like everything else in life, it starts with making a decision to be successful and have a great relationship with money energy, once you have made that quantum jump in your mind, you will start to attract the right people, the right resources, and the right opportunities to make this happen. Have trust in yourself, and let the flow of this energy embody you. 

I used to work in IT, few years ago i realised there was so much more i wanted to do and bring into this world. I made the decision to embrace my true gifts and start working with a range of individuals who were experiencing lack of self confidence, direction, and had no clarity on where they wanted to be or go in life. I founded The Velvet Journey to help men who experience issues that resulted from lack of self confidence, bullying, rejection, and deep rooted limited beliefs. I planned the vision two years before and  once i started to put all the energy into this vision the successes followed, more and more i was attracting men  that needed my help to overcome their personal and business issues. 

This post is written for Gaydio and to help its listeners to help them overcome post Easter holiday blues, get you all motivated and inspired.

Let me start with my favourite quote:

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

Personally, I don't I don’t dwell on things I can’t control, I have realistic expectations of myself, I've learned overtime that trying to change things or situations presented to me from the outside world including people is futile, and overtime I’ve come to appreciate some of my flaws and simply choose to live my best life and be present in the moment. But sometimes, melancholy finds me.  Like a thick fog that threatens to shroud a picturesque skyline, it creeps up seemingly out of nowhere until I can no longer ignore it, after all i tell myself enjoy it.

Beating the post-holiday blahs happens to even the most enthusiastic, devoted, successful entrepreneur. It's Tuesday, Easter bank holiday already behind us, and for most of you in spite of your best efforts, you have lost momentum and are off your game.

It’s a well-known fact that the holidays bring on the blues. According to the National Mental Health Association, reasons for feeling blue around the holidays range from fatigue to financial limitations to tensions in personal relationships.

What an we do coping with work after coming back off holidays? There is a lot to deal once the time of calmness, relaxing, eating, feeling free passes, we have to deal with our mental clutter, our fears, relationship problems, social and family demands, and all de deadlines at work, the e-mails , the meetings, etc. 

You go into your office, you stare at the pile of work, the unanswered emails, the phone calls you know you need to make and it all looks so overwhelming. The rush of the holidays, out-of-town guests, extreme highs or lows in business volume and suddenly, you are behind in everything. Worse yet, you aren't really motivated to get started again. Many of us half-heartedly begin with something and then quit early and feel lousy about ourselves.

But going to back to work after a long vacation is never really easy. It takes an iron hand to drag you out of your bed in the morning of Monday. So here are the tips that I hope could help you motivate yourself to go back to work with a positive attitude.

Admit it, you don’t want to go to work…

It has been the longest day-off so far. Your mind is still anchored on Easter Bank Holiday, and you refuse to believe that Tuesday is back to reality. No matter how workaholic you are, you still value time for a break, either for a week or several days. We deserve and our body and mind needs a break from time to time to re charge, reflect and rest. If you continue to adhere or attach to your work 24/7 you’ll never succeed. We need a hiatus or hibernation for us to get another supply of energy and detoxify ourselves from stress, pollution and negative vibes.

But, as I have done it many times in the past, I’ve learned not to let all the above take over, personally I have adopted one belief to help me with this: for every problem in my life there is a great solution and during that journey of finding it i am going to be playful, curious and be happy that the opportunity was presented to me to learn and experience life. Like everything else in life it’s not easy to do at first but, as always, a little effort goes a long way, practice makes perfect.  

Here are my 12 Secrets to get yourself back in the groove, excited again about your work,  business, or simply your day to day life.

I'm writing today to focus your awareness on the source of your actions. Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects, or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding. 

More broadly, it is the state or quality of being aware of something. In biological psychology, awareness is defined as a human's or an animal's perception and cognitive reaction to a condition or event. As human beings, we operate daily reflecting a wide range of emotions with a multitude of motivations fuelling our behaviours. 

All too often, we react emotionally to what others say or do. If our reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, anger, or sadness, we forfeit our ability to act with personal power and effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response. This reaction is all too often sourced in fear and low self-esteem. We may focus on what's wrong with us and our lives or fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of. 

SPOILER ALERT: The below is a shameless plug written out of love and respect - and is long overdue. 

If you had met me just a few years ago, you would have observed a very different person: a quiet, shy, reserved and nervous individual, unsure about himself, his opinions, his wants or his desires. Full of self-doubt, insecurities and fears, he struggled to be authentic around other people. He was unable to deeply connect to his friends, unable to express his love for the people in his life, and unable above all to love himself. Lost and confused, he had spent years jumping from city to city, from club to club, and from job to job in the search of some release, some hope and some fulfillment.



Nowadays, I am settled, grounded, happy and fulfilled. I Love (with a capital L) my work and my businesses, I have great friends to whom I am deeply connected  to and who support me in all my endeavors, and I have a fantastic loving relationship with my family. I am able to be my authentic self in all situations, and to express my true desires, wants and opinions. 

One person has had a huge impact on my transformation: my great friend, business partner and coach Tony Selimi. Here is our story:

HOW I MET TONY

When I met Tony, I had already began my journey. After a depressing few years, some little voice inside of me had guided me to finally settle down, and to start a work I could enjoy. I met Tony on the gym floor in 2010: he offered me a free healing in return for a PT session. Intrigued, I went along, with little expectations. 

Looking back on that first session, I remember how uncomfortable I felt. I felt prodded, nudged and gently wrestled into opening up and talking about myself, my feelings and my emotions. As a British passive aggressive introvert, it was my idea of hell. My ego kicked in with a vengeance: "Who was this man asking so many questions?" "Who did he think he was?" " How dare he make me feel so uncomfortable!" Part of me doubted and distrusted, another part of me was intrigued. But I knew deep down that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Tony was patient, and gave me the space to slowly feel more and more comfortable. Although part of me was screaming to run away back to my comfort zone, at the end of our session I chose to accompany him to dinner. As we chatted about spirituality, our lives, our dreams and our desires, something in me clicked and I knew that my life was about to take a turn for the better. 

After agreeing to provide Tony with some Personal Training in return for more coaching and healing, I left feeling elated, as if something in me had shifted, some hope had returned. There was light at the end of the tunnel.


MY INITIAL RESISTANCE

I would be lying to you if I said that I had jumped head first into my new path. Even though I could catch a glimpse of where I was headed, a big part of me resisted the process. The concepts of energy, of manifestation, of law of attraction etc were all new to me. Years and years of belief in the physical world as the only reality held me back, and it would take me many months before I could fully release my doubts and trust what Tony was talking about.

At the same time, I still held on tightly to my old destructive habits, my old thought patterns, my old conditioning. For over a year, I went through many ups and downs: one day feeling elated and on top of the world, the other back to the grey gloom and doom. I caught a glimpse of the happiness and self-love Tony talked about, and then found myself doubting I had ever experienced it.

In hindsight, these cycles matched the times when I listened and nurtured my inner voice, my truth, and the times when I blocked it out, doubted myself, and forgot my heart. Time after time I returned to see Tony, and at every single session, I opened up a tiny bit more, learnt a bit more about myself, and felt a bit more hopeful.


STEP BY STEP

Little by little, with Tony’s constant, loving yet patient support and understanding I started to see clearer and clearer. I discovered a new awareness of myself, my thoughts and my emotions. I began to understand my past behaviors, my day-to-day feelings and my future desires. And I embarked on a journey of tremendous change that has not stopped since. 

The fog slowly started to lift and I saw my life with a whole new perspective. I was able to see how for years I had avoided looking deeper into myself, always scared of what was inside. I was able to see how I had blamed my lack of love on everyone else but myself: my family, my friends, my clients. And I was able to see how much better my life was when I trusted and followed my intuition.  

It wasn't always plain sailing, I made many mistakes and put myself into many difficult situations. However Tony always empowered me to turn the situations around, to gain learnings and insights from them, to forgive myself and to move on quickly.

In doing so, I started to trust my instincts, and built a new-found respect and esteem for myself, my desires and my choices. I re-discovered love for life, for those around me and for me - for Will. My resistance dropped, and I became eager to learn more and more about the healing and coaching process, about our minds, our energies, our emotions - and how they all interact.

And as my inner world changed, so did my outer world. I stopped my old destructive habits, and began to nurture the parts of my life that needed me. My business began to take off, I attracted new wonderful friends, and re-connected with my twin, my brothers and my parents. My life slowly began to fall into place.


TONY'S COACHING

The job of a good Coach is to allow you to come to your own conclusions, make your own decisions, and choose what is right for yourself. And that is exactly what Tony did. His greatest skill has been to help me believe and trust my instincts to achieve my potential. We are all born great, with unique gifts, talents and personalities - however many of us suppress our true selves and forget our dreams and desires. Drawing on his learnings from many avenues including his own life story, Tony empowered me to push my boundaries, transform my mind and release my inner self. 

Tony has a positive energy and a love for life and for others that is contagious. He is a loving, warm and kind man, and keen to help everyone he meets. He has inspired me in many ways to do the same: to inject love into everything I do, everything I see and everyone I meet. He has become one of my closest friends, a trusted companion and a fantastic business partner. 

However, if I were to name one of Tony’s top strengths, it would be his integrated and in-depth knowledge of both Coaching AND Healing. Through my own experience, I have realized how important they both are, in conjunction with one another. Any healing of the physical body is far more powerful when one can understand the root of the symptom in their subconscious, and make changes to their mindset through coaching. And coaching is far more powerful with the understanding of energy, vibrations and manifestation. 

Tony has been an avid learner for many years, and has done all kind of certifications (each with different initials and abbreviations !). Rather than sticking to one particular school of thought, he happily uses the best bits of each one, and tailors his approach depending on the situation. This integration of the mind and spirit has really opened up my eyes to the world around us, and has helped me transform the way I see my business, my training and my relationships. 

Of course, it goes without saying that I would wholeheartedly recommend Tony to anyone. I truly believe that everyone could benefit from a bit of coaching and healing, and that the world would be a better place if we all applied just 10% of what Tony can teach. 


START YOUR OWN JOURNEY

For me, Tony has been a fantastic catalyst for change, a great influence in my life, and an astounding friend. Thanks to him I have learnt to love, be loved, to express myself, and to reach for the stars. I have kickstarted an incredible transformation and have found my true self. I feel authentic, fulfilled and content - and so very excited about what the future will bring.

Looking into yourself and committing to your own personal growth is best thing you could ever do. Yes it will require some work. Yes it may be uncomfortable at times. And yes you may have many layers and issues to unravel. But the long-term reward you will get is immense, immeasurable, and most likely impossible to even imagine.

Happiness and fulfillment is inside of you. It may have been locked up by fears, doubts and insecurities - but it is within your grasp. I dare you to go find it. 

Will Pike - 30 January 2013

At one time in my life, I had some real challenges with taking action, this was before i was made redundant in 2009, times when the down turn in the economy happened and i like many of you out there was feeling the heat, the pressure, the stress and the need to perform more and more tasks at shorter periods of time. Let me ask you the this question, do you see yourself in this picture? And, like you probably have, I spent a lot of time looking for different tools, methods, and systems for helping me overcome those challenges. Then one day I stumbled across an article that described a simple action-taking system called ‘timeboxing.’

Almost immediately, I knew I had found the solution that I was looking for, because not only was timeboxing easy to understand and use, but it totally eliminated the two obstacles to taking action that we just talked about.

Let me share with you how it works, and you can figure out whether you agree with me or not…

1. Write down all the things you want to get done for the day: Everything from writing, creating content, or planning your next project to answering your email and balancing your checkbook.
2. Assign a specific time to each task: Anything from 15 minutes to 4 hours.
3. Select a task, start a timer (like an egg time), and focus on nothing but accomplishing that task: This means you don’t answer the phone, you don’t get up for a drink, you don’t log onto Facebook – none of that. You remain focused on the task-at-hand!

In other words, each action you need to take during the day represents a small ‘block’ of that day (a box, if you will). You determine how big of a box it is by how much time you set aside to accomplish it (a single day can consist of anything from just a few, to a dozen boxes). When you’re ready to take action, select a box, start a timer, and get to work!

That is timeboxing!

How does timeboxing eliminate the two obstacles to taking action that we talked about a minute ago? Here’s how:

• It Creates Clarity - Creating a simple, but clear list of things you need to do (getting it out of your head) gives order and stucture to what you need to do – it gives your brain the clarity it needs in order to feel compelled to take massive action
• It Uses Time As A Strong Motivating Force - Assigning each task a specific time and using a countdown timer to work on that task within that timeframe has the same motivating effect as you would experience trying to meet any other time-based deadline – meeting the deadline is compelling, and your brain sees it as a strong reason WHY you should act!

See, I told you it was simple, and that the name fit! 

If you practice these three simple steps regularly, it will totally revolutionize the way you get things done in your life - guaranteed!

As I began using timeboxing regularly, my science and engineering brain kicked in, and I began to see how a my integrated coaching and Reiki would enhance its effectiveness and ease of-use even further.

How?

• By Eliminating The Grunt Work - Helping you Create lists of actions, assign time, prioritizing them, tracking which ones you’ve completed, and remembering which ones you need to do regularly are all things that can be handled more efficiently when obstacles occur that i can help you with
• By Giving You Visual Tools To Help You Get A Crystal-Clear Picture Of Your Day - Humans are visual creatures. The clearer we can see something, the more we feel like we can control it. When it comes to planning your day, the clearer you can visualize what you need to do, and how much time it’s going to take, the more easily you can manage it and believe that it can be done! My visual coaching hour does exactly that, help you connect through your third eye and create and maintain vision.
• By Helping You Track How And Where You’re Spending Your Time - One of the most important skills you can have when it comes to getting things done is awareness – knowing exactly how and where you’re spending your time. After all, how can you manage something (like your time) if you aren’t aware of how you’re using it? Once again, working with your Coach makes doing this a breeze!

To see how my integrated coaching can help you in this journey feel free to visitwww.thevelvetjourney.com/coaching

©Tony J Selimi

It’s December nearly the end of the 2012, let me ask you a question, what are you going to say goodbye this year to?

I know many people get busy with Christmas and preparing for the holidays but for me not only is December a time for completing projects before Christmas and the New Year,  but its also an opportunity to celebrate my birthday, slow down, take stock and take time to renew my energy and creativity.

2012 is the most important event in Earth’s history, but it is not well understood, even by those who claim prophetic visions of the future. We do know that a great planetary Shift in consciousness has been forecast by numerous sources throughout history, including tribes with long histories on the planet such as the Mayans, the Hopi, Lakota, Inuit, and the Maori. Often, the prophecies predict cataclysmic changes on Earth caused by drastic changes in weather, geomagnetic pole shifts, or massive earthquakes.

The Mayan prophecies are most quoted. According to Carlos Barrios, a student of the Mayan prophecies, the Fourth World finished on 16th August, 1987, the day of the Harmonic Convergence. At that point, the world entered a time of major transition, with the possibility of environmental destruction, social chaos, war, and on-going Earth changes. This period of instability and transition will continue until December 21, 2012, which begins the Fifth World, a new era of harmony and love.

With that in mind, it is also all about preparing myself for planning and creating 2013, take a moment right now and think about four most important questions:

1. What do you need to let go in 2012?

2. What experience do you have to achieve what you are set to do in 2013?

3. In what areas of your life do you need to grow

4. what is your contribution you want to make in 2013 to the world and the planet?

Of course, in my busy time there is time for fun too, so don’t forget that too. Currently I’m in a mad rush to finish my current projects with HealOneSelf and The Velvet Journey, spend time to think about the book I want to write and complete my tax returns. 

 One of the principles that I follow in my day to day life is to clear a space before creating something new. This works on a physical/ four-dimensional level but also on a temporal level, clearing the past so you can focus on the future. 

Many people create New Year’s resolutions and plans in January but because they haven’t dealt effectively with their past habits they have difficulty sticking to those resolutions. Taking some time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t  work during the year, will help you more powerfully plan for a great 2013.

Here is a great exercise for clearing the past and creating the right head space for planning 2013.  Spend at least 10 minutes answering these questions in a notebook or journal

• What have been your achievements up until now?
• What have been the disappointments or regrets?
• What did you not do that you had intended to do?
• What are you proud of from the year?
• What goals will you carry over into 2013 and what will you drop or rethink?
• Who can you forgive?
• What can you forgive yourself for?
• What are you grateful for?
• What was the theme of 2013 for you?
• What did you learn from the 2013?
• Is there anything you can complete before end of 2012 that would make a difference to your life?  If so complete it

If we look at 2012 in context, at the beginning of the year we thought we would be facing once economic meltdown.  Most people’s concerns were in surviving and making it through. Although this year’s London Olympics brought hope to many despite the fact many people lost their jobs, many worried about losing their jobs, there was hope in the air, newspapers were at it, TV, social media, and any other form of communication we have out there were all talking about the London Olympics.  Overall we are in a much better position than we were 12 months ago, we have come through the worse and there is more of a glimmer of hope on the horizon. So even if times have been hard, in the grand scheme of things the world is in a better position than it was 12 months ago.

That at least is something to be grateful for, make a start by adopting “Gratitude is my attitude”.

And there is just one thing to do CELEBRATE!

©Tony J Selimi, HealOneSelf, December 2012