On my recent visit to Macedonia for my mother’s 78thbirthday I found myself in a situation that was extremely challenging both emotionally and mentally. For the sake of the love, respect and not wanting to disappoint my family and people I love and care about I ended up setting myself into an autopilot mode by doing things that were expected of me and letting myself go with the flow. I could not help but notice the changes in people’s behaviour around me as well as the anger that was being build inside of me. Whilst there were positive feeling being generated in the actions I was doing that were making other people happy, bit by bit I started to neglect my own wants and needs, as the time went on this started to build into more frustration and anger.
Doing things for others for sure is rewarding, ignoring our own needs, not listening to our own inner voice and not allowing ourselves to be who we actually are is NOT. Living in a straight men’s world where everyone is expecting you to be a well behaved, a respected son and a family guy if not managed properly can led to so much anger being stored inside of you.
How many of you have been told that anger is inappropriate? It’s not good to be angry. And so we’ve learned to ignore our feelings of anger, push them down, suppress them, and pretend they don’t exist. In the long run, I realised that’s not any healthier for you than expressing your anger inappropriately. I now completely understand. Having left my culture I made a decision a long time ago to stop being angry at my family, at the macho guys at school who bullied me for spending my time with girls and not playing football with them, at all of the people who started the war in former Yugoslavia that led me to loose friends, family and being forced to flee the country I grew up and new to be my own (at that time), at employers and friends who simply did not appreciate the hard work I put over the years. It was serving no one.
What I did not realize is that although I stopped expressing anger, I was also not honestly acknowledging how I felt, and so I was actually just storing the anger in my body.
One of the things I have learned through experience, working with healers, spiritual teachers, with many of my friends and helping clients move through relationship issues is that stored anger shows up in our life in many ways. Often people who struggle with addiction, especially alcoholism have repressed anger. Chronic pain has also proven to reveal hidden and stored anger.
Repressed anger is often disguised and sometimes it takes working through other emotions to arrive at the anger.
I’ve also discovered in both my personal and professional path that rather than acknowledging and expressing the anger we feel at other people, experiences, and life in general, we turn those heavy emotions inward and begin to blame ourselves, judge our feelings, and begin to want to justify or make sense of the feelings that dare to rise up and call our attentions. So we learn, to hide them, mask them, make excuses for them, and turn more judgement and pain inward at our own shortcomings and failings. I was the first to tell you, “ I’m not angry.” I would just as quickly jump in and justify why I should NOT feel angry, and make sense of the situation and talk myself right out of feeling what was real for me. I had every right to be mad, and yet at some level, I did not believe that I did. By the way, this did not stop the feelings from showing up. I just got really good at “making sense” of it all – and totally dis empowering my real feelings and myself in the process.
Thank goodness, the work I have done over the years is helping me each time I go back to my roots, family and culture. I have learned how to safely and quickly address what’s really causing the show of feelings, giving a voice to them, and letting go of the judgement and blame we tend to hold.
Addressing and releasing not only anger but other emotions and feelings that may be masking the real feelings of anger that you are holding is your first step.
It is your chance to move through the heavy, energetic emotions that are interfering with your happiness, and your living the life that you really want to be experiencing.
What I have found is that through combination of Chakra Healing, Life Coaching and tapping i work with clients on releasing the energy, the thoughts, the meta programming that causes this anger, it allows for more joy to come in. You move the old, stuck, stagnant energy out of your system and make room for more of the new positive thoughts and energy to fill you.
If you are feeling stuck, lost or hopeless,
If you are at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn,
If you are generally unhappy and just don’t know why,
If you know you want to make a change, and just cannot shift,
If you are chronically having accidents or experiencing pain and discomfort,
There’s a strong possibility that there is some stored, stuck, unexpressed anger (or other emotion) in your body, in your subconscious, in your energy body. So get in touch as I would love for you to be anger free, you will be free to move forward to create the life and relationships you desire and to be all that you imagine.
To your love and joy,
Tony J Selimi ©HealOneSelf
Doing things for others for sure is rewarding, ignoring our own needs, not listening to our own inner voice and not allowing ourselves to be who we actually are is NOT. Living in a straight men’s world where everyone is expecting you to be a well behaved, a respected son and a family guy if not managed properly can led to so much anger being stored inside of you.
How many of you have been told that anger is inappropriate? It’s not good to be angry. And so we’ve learned to ignore our feelings of anger, push them down, suppress them, and pretend they don’t exist. In the long run, I realised that’s not any healthier for you than expressing your anger inappropriately. I now completely understand. Having left my culture I made a decision a long time ago to stop being angry at my family, at the macho guys at school who bullied me for spending my time with girls and not playing football with them, at all of the people who started the war in former Yugoslavia that led me to loose friends, family and being forced to flee the country I grew up and new to be my own (at that time), at employers and friends who simply did not appreciate the hard work I put over the years. It was serving no one.
What I did not realize is that although I stopped expressing anger, I was also not honestly acknowledging how I felt, and so I was actually just storing the anger in my body.
One of the things I have learned through experience, working with healers, spiritual teachers, with many of my friends and helping clients move through relationship issues is that stored anger shows up in our life in many ways. Often people who struggle with addiction, especially alcoholism have repressed anger. Chronic pain has also proven to reveal hidden and stored anger.
Repressed anger is often disguised and sometimes it takes working through other emotions to arrive at the anger.
I’ve also discovered in both my personal and professional path that rather than acknowledging and expressing the anger we feel at other people, experiences, and life in general, we turn those heavy emotions inward and begin to blame ourselves, judge our feelings, and begin to want to justify or make sense of the feelings that dare to rise up and call our attentions. So we learn, to hide them, mask them, make excuses for them, and turn more judgement and pain inward at our own shortcomings and failings. I was the first to tell you, “ I’m not angry.” I would just as quickly jump in and justify why I should NOT feel angry, and make sense of the situation and talk myself right out of feeling what was real for me. I had every right to be mad, and yet at some level, I did not believe that I did. By the way, this did not stop the feelings from showing up. I just got really good at “making sense” of it all – and totally dis empowering my real feelings and myself in the process.
Thank goodness, the work I have done over the years is helping me each time I go back to my roots, family and culture. I have learned how to safely and quickly address what’s really causing the show of feelings, giving a voice to them, and letting go of the judgement and blame we tend to hold.
Addressing and releasing not only anger but other emotions and feelings that may be masking the real feelings of anger that you are holding is your first step.
It is your chance to move through the heavy, energetic emotions that are interfering with your happiness, and your living the life that you really want to be experiencing.
What I have found is that through combination of Chakra Healing, Life Coaching and tapping i work with clients on releasing the energy, the thoughts, the meta programming that causes this anger, it allows for more joy to come in. You move the old, stuck, stagnant energy out of your system and make room for more of the new positive thoughts and energy to fill you.
If you are feeling stuck, lost or hopeless,
If you are at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn,
If you are generally unhappy and just don’t know why,
If you know you want to make a change, and just cannot shift,
If you are chronically having accidents or experiencing pain and discomfort,
There’s a strong possibility that there is some stored, stuck, unexpressed anger (or other emotion) in your body, in your subconscious, in your energy body. So get in touch as I would love for you to be anger free, you will be free to move forward to create the life and relationships you desire and to be all that you imagine.
To your love and joy,
Tony J Selimi ©HealOneSelf
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